hmmm...well i forgot I had this blog spot! I have been really stressed lately!! Sometimes I dont even feel like this is my life. Smooth....that is what I want my lifve to be like...smoooooth. In just a couple months it has been tossed upside down and inside out!! I do breathing exercises in hopes that helps. So far...NO...lol!!! In 3 months or so my Mom faces open heart surgery. That thought makes me numb. Half the time I want to just break down and cry..she is my Mom. The woman I look up to. The woman who I dont want to be with out. A couple weeks ago she had a heart attack. They put in a stint and all is good for now. They found some kind of bubble in her heart that can burst. That scares the crud out of me. I have also become her whipping post. If she is feeling crabby I am the one who feels her rath. What do I do...breath deep and make sure I only cry in the shower!

Poetry

babies cry themselves to sleep
theres never enough to eat
scared of what will never be
living each day while bombs drop in the streets
we only have one life to live
you would think people would learn to give
taking lives and taking dreams
this isnt really living...at least not to me
if only I could turn back the pages of time
if I could take all the hate and anger from the human mind
wasted emotion when theres so much need
the knife cuts deeper leaving my soul to bleed
bombs dropping from the sky
I wonder if it makes God cry to see all the destruction of what he made in just 7 days
I wonder if Gods heart is breaking and we feel it when the earth is shaking
are the raindrops that fall from the sky really the teardrops from Gods eyes

How many things do we miss?

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

I wonder what we do miss? I would have stopped to listen

YES! I am a blogger

Sweet!!! I got this far. ...I am not sure why I am doing this...most likely it will be less expensive to vent here or say what ever I want ...more to come...but I have to get to work!